around town today

4pm-midnight: queens brewery opens a new brew hall in ridgewood today. bonus: free 0.3 liter steins for the first 500 guests. >>

6pm (monthly): the new york story exchange storytelling event returns with moth storyslam champions jamie brickhouse, mel dockery and sandi marx, plus open mic slots for up to five audience members. hosted by nicole ferraro. cornelia street cafe (west village), $10 admission includes a drink. >>

6-9pm: go magazine hosts a launch party for the spring issue and new lesbian web-series @datingzoe. bonus: free absolute vodka drinks 6-7pm. the stonewall inn (west village), free. >>

6:30pm: pregame for saint patrick’s day with an illustrated lecture on the history and culture of the irish in new york by tara rider, ph.d.. church of saint brigid-saint emeric (alphabet city), free (rsvp). >>

6:30pm: historic gastronomist sarah lohman, who’s explored the lives of irish tenement dwellers and 19th century irish maids, gives a brief history of irish food at brooklyn brainery (prospect heights). $12. >>

7pm (monthly): writers who are parents convene at the pen parentis literary salon. tonight’s theme: belonging: authors read from current work and discuss writing about immigrants and immigration. moderated by christina chiu and m. m. de voe. andaz wall street hotel (fidi), free admission. >>

7pm: dr. pål brekke of the norwegian space center gives a lecture on the almost-forgotten physicist kristian birkeland alongside images and video of the northern lights. scandinavia house (midtown east), free. >>

7pm (monthly): a tech ethicist (david ryan polgar) and a comedian (joe leonardo) examine our strange present and uncertain future at the funny as tech podcast show, taping a new episode tonight about tech ethics with guests including robyn caplan (researcher at data + society), nir eyal (hooked: how to build habit-forming products), and jess brown (director of ux at vice). the pit (flatiron), $8. >>

7pm (+ 3/20): hip-hop and jazz: a crossroads of chance, a two-night program curated by harpist brandee younger, kicks off with a discussion between grammy-winning producer omen (beyoncé, drake) and journalist seve chambers. the national jazz museum in harlem, free-$10. >>

7pm doors, 7:30pm show (monthly): $6 + a secret gets you access to the dirty little secrets improv show, where improvisers play with your anonymously-submitted truths in an intimate space. niagara (east village/alphabet city), $6. >>

7pm: who will emerge with the crown(s) at the mr. + miss gay new york america pageant? hudson terrace (hell’s kitchen), $15 adv, $20 door. note: the events had been scheduled separately for mon + tues, but are now both on tues. >>

7:30pm doors, 8pm show (monthly): roast battle meets debate club for patti labelle vs. aretha franklin: a battle of the divas, where comedians and pop culture experts square off via debates, screaming matches, and drag performances. hosted by christi chiello and matteo lane. union hall (park slope), $8 adv, $10 dos. >>

7:30pm doors, 8pm show (monthly): a whopping 64 comedians will compete in a bracket-style one-liner joke tournament at backfat variety’s third annual quick-witted comedy competition. hosted by larry mancini and emily winter. littlefield (gowanus), $8 adv, $10 door (proceeds will benefit shelter chic animal rescue). >>

8pm doors, 8:30pm show (weekly): the shanty at new york distilling company (williamsburg) hosts booze and laughs for the dan+joe+charles show, this week including performances by sasheer zamata (snl), josh johnson (comedy central), mitra jouhari (the president show), and jake head. free. >>

9pm (quarterly): the am i write, ladies? variety show showcases new prose, storytelling, comedy, burlesque, theater, and more by women and gender non-conforming artists. tonight’s theme: spring fling: springtime, hookups, and longing. hosted by cassidy graves. the footlight (ridgewood), $10. >>

9pm (monthly): whose line is it anyway? meets ted as stand-up comedians improvise ted talks on topics they’ve never heard of before. hosted by ryan stanisz. q.e.d. (astoria), $7. >>

9pm (monthly): comedians give talks on subjects they’ve researched at the homeschooled comedic lecture series. hosted by jim tews. ucb (east village), $9. >>

coming up

3/14-17 3-8pm: the seventh annual japan week returns to grand central terminal’s vanderbilt hall with 3d trick art installations, food, travel tips, and more. free admission. >>

3/14-18: cinekink nyc, ‘the kinky film festival,’ returns for its 15th year with screenings, a short film competition, audience choice awards, presentations, parties, and more. anthology film archives (les), $14 general, $11 students/seniors (admission to special events varies). >>

3/14-30: it’s pacinos’ world and we’re just living in it. the quad pays tribute to al pacino with the first-ever extensive retrospective of the actor’s work held in nyc, featuring more than 30 films including dog day afternoon, scarface, serpico, the godfather (i + ii), glengarry glen ross, and many more, some with pacino in person. quad cinema (greenwich village), $16 general, $13 seniors. >>

3/14 2-5pm: students, educators, and allies will stand up and speak out against gun violence at a national school walkout rally hosted by brooklyn borough president eric l. adams and council member brad lander at the prospect park bandshell. >>

3/14 3-5pm: every day is pi day at the national museum of mathematics (flatiron), which is offering pie and free admission today. >>

3/14 6-9pm: explore more than two dozen neighborhood art spaces during the quarterly tribeca art+culture night. free (some events charge admission and/or require rsvp). >>

3/14 6pm doors, 6:30 show: don’t get mad, get everything at a free screening of first wives club (1996). popcorn and beverages will be served. samsung 837 (meatpacking), free (rsvp). >>

3/14 6pm doors, 7pm show: dig in with deep night with dale, a talk show on the dark art of comedy hosted by ‘mystic’ dale seever (aka james bewley). tonight’s guests include emily flake (the new yorker), kenice mobley (two dope queens), julia shiplett (crashing), and tisher + rumrill. bonus: theremin! the slipper room (les), $10 adv, $12 dos >>

3/14 6:30pm: center for communication presents: the business of funny: prolific local lady comedians mary houlihan (comedy central), aparna nancherla (corporate), and darcie wilder (literally show me a healthy person) discuss writing, performing, and the new face of comedy. moderated by sam corbin (buzzfeed). the new school’s arnhold hall (greenwich village), free (rsvp). >>

3/14 6:30pm: the annual new york fashion film festival, presented by the mps fashion photography program at school of visual arts, returns with a collection of fashion-forward films and a panel discussion on the nature of the genre. sva theatre (chelsea), free (rsvp). >>

3/14 7pm: hauser + wirth publishers and morbid anatomy’s utopia/dystopia series continues with a discussion on disco culture from dj nicky siano (the gallery, studio 54), media historian amy herzog and artist tara mateik. hauser + wirth gallery (chelsea), free (rsvp). >>

3/14 7pm: the drunk education folks roast ‘great’ film bros, including godard, tarantino, kubrick, and nolan. hosted by eric thurm. housing works bookstore cafe (soho), free. >>

3/14 7-11pm (on view thru 2/16): experience new work and fresh styles made by local graffiti artists at con artist collective’s anything graff art show. opening party tonight. con artist collective + gallery (les), free. >>

3/14 7pm doors, 8pm show: wit beats grit at literary death match, a comedy and game show that pits writers against one another in a battle of novel proportions. tonight’s guests include authors safiya sinclair (cannibal), kanishk tharoor (swimmer among the stars), simeon marsalis (as lie is to grin) and alexis okeowo (a moonless, starless sky), with judges anna chlumsky (veep), jessica valenti (feministing), krystyna hutchinson (guys we f*cked), aparna nancherla (corporate). hosted by adrian todd zuniga. the bell house (gowanus), $12 adv, $15 door. >>

3/14 7pm doors, 8pm show: celebrate albert einstein’s 139th birthday this pi day with astronomy on tap’s presentation of theatre company no.11 productions’ our friend albert, featuring selected scenes from the play paired with guest speakers. littlefield (gowanus), $10. >>

3/14 7:15pm doors, 7:30pm show (monthly): it’s all shoulda coulda woulda at the take two storytelling show, where guests take a true story and tell two versions—one the way it actually happened, the other where things could’ve turned out differently. tonight’s guests: tiffany leigh, sabine bernards, calvin cato, nate waggoner, and gabe gonzalez. hosted by elana lancaster and harvey katz. c’mon everybody (bed-stuy), $5 suggested admission (no one turned away for lack of funds). >>

3/14 7:30pm: stand-up comedian and actor jimmy o. yang (silicon valley) discusses his new memoir, how to american: an immigrant’s guide to disappointing your parents, with actor and rapper awkwafina. strand bookstore (union square), purchase of a $15 gift card or a signed copy of the book ($27) required for admission. >>

3/14 7:30pm doors, 8pm show (monthly): writers, artists, and performers resurrect material they’ve cut from past works at the dead darlings show. this month’s ‘angels’ edition includes writers cole escola (at home with amy sedaris), isaac butler (the world spins only forward – the ascent of angels in america), and agunda okeyo (okayafrica). hosted by amanda duarte. judson memorial church (greenwich village), $10 suggested donation benefits judson’s sanctuary program. >>

3/14 8pm (monthly): get your fill of free food and free comedy at the devour hour comedy show. this month: pair free dumplings alongside performances by mary cella (the new york times), ariel leatey (the was), mare wiles (risk!),ben wasserman (mtv), ethan simmons-patterson, and napoleon emil. hosted by kale bogdanovs and frank nelson. hank’s saloon (boerum hill), free admission. >>

3/14 8pm (weekly): the let’s see, what else? comedy show features joe zimmerman (comedy central), chloe hilliard (gotham live), jessica watkins (burning daylight), and joe alfano. hosted by courtney maginnis and tom delgado. poco restaurant and bar (alphabet city), free. >>

3/14 8pm (monthly): it’s no exaggeration to say that you’ll have fun at the hyperbole! comedy show. tonight’s lineup: josh gondelman (last week tonight), noah gardenswartz (comedy central), tom thakkar (conan), sam ruddy (collegehumor), and nathan habib. hosted by stu melton, caroline doyle, and charlie dektar. bonus: win free beer with your trivia smarts. the creek and the cave (lic), free admission. >>

3/14 8pm doors, 8:30pm show (weekly): $3 beer and $15 buckets are a good sign that you don’t gotta drink with your pinky out to fit in at the fancy show stand-up comedy show. tonight: matteo lane (colbert), sydnee washington (the unofficial expert), derek humphrey (derek explains it all), dan licata (adult swim), and jason burke. hosted by michael joyce. the douglass (park slope/gowanus), free. >>

3/14 8:30pm: defne gencler and blair dawson host the u up? comedy show, featuring stand up and a half-time storytelling portion where audience members can share a dating/love/sex anecdote to compete for a prize from babeland. tonight’s comedians: shalewa sharpe (2 dope queens), wendy steiner (refinery29), davidson boswell (roastmasters), ben katzner, and jeena bloom. the corners (bed-stuy), free. >>

3/14 8:30pm doors, 9pm show (weekly): stay in the loop with the comedians you should know show. tonight: judah friedlander (30 rock), nathan macintosh (conan), emma willmann (colbert), kc aurora (laughs), brendan fitzgibbons (celebrities have issues, saurin choksi (brown privilege) and jeff steinbrunner.  hosted by david drake. gutter bar (williamsburg), $5 adv or if you mention the skint at the door (reg. $10). >>

3/14 9pm: relate at the tinder tales live show, where host david piccolomini and comedians share tinder horror stories, advice, and play games exploring the world of online dating. tonight’s guests include lucas connolly (comedy central), chris calogero (almost midnight), and sallyann hall (left breast comedy). q.e.d. (astoria), $7 adv, $10 door. >>

3/14 10pm (weekly): meet your maker at the i’m dead comedy show, returning tonight with stand-up by michael harrison, selena coppock, lawrence deloach, justin williams, and anthony devito. hosted by jeff simmermon (the moth storyslam grandslam winner) and derek humphrey (derek explains it all). flatbush zombie house (prospect-lefferts gardens/flatbush), free. >>

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