TUES, 5/14: FREE HÄAGEN-DAZS, FREE DANCE + FITNESS CLASSES, CONVERSATIONS ABOUT FOOD, + 19 WEDS EVENTS

around town today

psa: 10 quiet places to escape the noise in nyc. >>

thru 5/19: parsons dance returns to the joyce theater (chelsea) with trey mcintyre’s eight women set to music by aretha franklin, a tribute to paul taylor, and more. $10+. >>

thru 5/19: random access music’s eighth annual queens new music festival presents a dozen contemporary, experimental, and world concerts performed by kathleen supové, aeon ensemble, ram players, and more. the secret theatre (lic), free-$20. >>

4-8pm: the weather might be crummy, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying free cone day at häagen-dazs (at participating shops). >>

5:30pm doors, 6pm show (+ 6/4, 6/11): sit onstage at the annual pop-up concert series at columbia university’s miller theatre. the spring season continues tonight with sō percussion founding member jason treuting. bonus: free drink. columbia university’s miller theatre (morningside heights), free admission. >>

6:30pm doors, 7:30pm show (weekly): tommy mcnamara and luke mones host the boardwalk stand-up comedy show, featuring ryan beck (comedy central), mike recine (conan), anna fabrega (hbo), matt bachus (ucb), and amy shanker. coney island baby nyc (east village/alphabet city), free. >>

7pm (+ 6/11, 7/16, 8/13): food tank presents the conversations about food speaker series, followed by a catered networking reception. tonight’s theme: ‘equity in the food system’. nyu pless hall (greenwich village), free (rsvp).   >>

7pm: cnn’s chief national security correspondent jim sciutto discusses his new book, the shadow war: inside russia’s and china’s secret operations to defeat america, with cnn’s chief political correspondent dana bush. barnes + noble 82nd + broadway (uws), priority seating with purchase of the book. >>

7pm: from hoarders to antique hunters to space debris, journalist and author alison stewart examines america’s love affair with stuff at a talk on her new book, junk. strand bookstore (union square). $15 admission includes a gift card, $16.99 includes a signed copy of the book. >>

7pm, 8:30pm: be there and be square. nerd nite returns for its final nite of the season with entertaining and informative presentations spanning a wide range of nerdom. tonight, hear talks on fatbergs, start-up scammers, and gizmodo. littlefield (gowanus), $10 for presentations at 8:30pm, or add $4 for trivia $10 for hetero speed dating at 7pm. >>

sponsored: 7:30pm: at the next installment of the litprov literature and comedy mashup, ted chiang and nathan englander will read from their new books, followed by hilarious plot interpretations from comedians michelle buteau and rosebud baker. the evening includes a conversation with the authors, q+a, and a book signing. plus, the audience receives 20% off all drinks at bar thalia. symphony space (uws), $10 with promo code ‘may’ (plus ticket fees, reg. $16). >>

7:30pm: author karen russell will discuss her new collection orange world and other stories with atmospheric disturbances author rivka galchen at greenlight bookstore (fort greene), free. >>

7:30pm doors, 8pm show (monthly): get with the program at the lesbian agenda comedy/variety show, featuring ali kolbert (fallon), carolyn bergier (funny or die), rachel joravsky, and feminist musical comedy duo free the mind. hosted by sophie santos. union hall (park slope), $10 adv, $12 dos. >>

7:30pm doors, 8pm show: a late night variety show and a spelling bee collide for we b-e-e spelling fundraiser/game show/concert, with proceeds benefiting voting rights organization head count. hosted by alex greer. brooklyn bowl (williamsburg). $10 adv, $15 dos. >>

8pm (monthly): listen to the writings of idra novey (those who knew), john wray (godsend), and essayist garnette cadogan at tonight’s four-year anniversary of the monthly lic reading series. lic bar (lic), free. >>

8:30pm (weekly): the just come! comedy show, hosted by pamela ross and kendall farrell, returns with performances by adam conover (adam ruins everyhing), rachel feinstein (netflix), dina hashem (conan), jay jurden (time out ‘comedian to watch’), irene bremis (siriusxm), maddy smith (mcsweeney’s), sarah hennessy, and jill weiner. the graham (east williamsburg), free ($5 suggested donation). >>

check our website for a list of more than 40 ongoing events. >>

sponsored

Learn DIY skills and transform your space

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Cycle 1: Let’s Hang (starts 6/1)
Learn how to hang light and heavy objects and a floating shelf, and get practice using basic tools.

Cycle 2: Home Emergencies (starts 6/29)
Turn “oh sh*t” into “no sweat.” Learn how to patch holes, fix broken tiles and other essentials for keeping your security deposit, and your peace of mind.

Cycle 3: Move-In Essentials (starts 7/27)
Not just for when you’re moving in! Learn how to hang blinds and curtains, assemble IKEA furniture without tearing your hair out, and paint like a pro.

Cycle 4: Decorating Fundamentals (starts 8/10)
Instagram envy, no more: learn to personalize your space using temporary wallpaper and backsplash, decorative trim and dimmer switches—plus, how to not kill your houseplants.

All workshops include hands-on instruction by a home improvement professional, coffee, take-home instructions and plenty of time to ask questions. (While we recommend completing the cycles progressively, you’re welcome to take them individually.)

*While created to offer a fun, safe and utterly un-Home Depot space for women to learn DIY skills, all are welcome!

Special offer for skint readers:
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Each cycle includes three workshops
Saturdays starting June 1 at The Farm Soho – 447 Broadway, 2nd Floor

coming up

5/15 4pm: singer-songwriter sharon van etten discusses her new album, remind me tomorrow, at a taping of the build series. build studios (greenwich village), free (rsvp). >>

5/15 6-7pm dance lesson, 7-8:30pm band (wednesdays thru 6/5, + 6/7): bryant park’s annual themed dance party series returns for after-work outdoor fun. tonight: contra night with brooklyn swing ensemble with alex deis-lauby. hosted by talia castro-pozo. weather cancelation updates will be posted on the park’s social media channels. bryant park’s fountain terrace (midtown west), free admission. >>

5/15 6-9pm (on view thru 5/29): new york studio school of drawing, painting and sculpture presents its 2019 mfa thesis exhibition, taking over three floors of the school with the work of 14 graduates. opening reception tonight. new york studio school of drawing, painting and sculpture (greenwich village), free. >>

5/15 6:30pm doors, 7pm show: an objective media – fact or fiction? the social science research council hosts a discussion on america’s long-standing romanticizing of what the media is and how it functions. panel includes karen hunter (siriusxm), kim gallon (founder and director of black press research collective), andie tucher (director of columbia journalism school’s phd program), and kathryn brownell (associate professor at purdue). brooklyn historical society (brooklyn heights), $10 general admission, $5 for members. >>

5/15 6:30-8pm: all-female boutique bulletin throws a closing party for their williamsburg location with pizza, drinks, and giveaways. >>

5/15 7pm doors, 8pm show: dig in with deep night with dale, a talk show on the dark art of comedy hosted by ‘mystic’ dale seever (aka james bewley). tonight’s season finale includes comedians griffin newman (the tick), emmy blotnick (colbert), lindsey broad (in the dark), sammus (the new negroes), and theremin music by cornelius loy and movement from 96b dance theatre. the slipper room (les), $10 adv, $12 dos. >>

5/15 7:30pm: one story writers who’ve published their first book in the past year will read from their new novels and story collections at greenlight bookstore (fort greene). free. >>

5/15 7:30pm (monthly): the astronomy on tap discussion series dives deep into space with tonight’s theme ‘captains of the cosmos.’ trivia at 7:30pm, talks at 8pm. the way station (prospect heights), free. >>

5/15 7:30pm trivia, 8pm movie (wednesdays thru 9/25): parklife bar and taqueria continues its outdoor movie season with a screening of alien (1979), including a round of trivia to kick things off. weather permitting. parklife (gowanus), free admission. >>

5/15 7:30pm doors, 8pm show (monthly): the hack city comedy show returns with standup by bret raybould (comedy central), ian lara (comedy central), tim dillon (netflix), eman el-husseini (the el-salomons), brian park (ucb), and xazmin garza. hosted by fumi abe (mtv) and michael nguyen (someecards). canal street market (soho), free admission. >>

5/15 7:30pm doors, 8pm show (monthly): the party never stops at jenny’s birthday variety show, where host comedian jenny gorelick (improv everywhere’s ‘subway sweet sixteen’ video) throws herself a birthday-themed variety show every month. tonight’s festivities include performances by drew anderson (mcsweeney’s), julia shiplett (the moth radio hour), sarah smallwood parsons (above average), rachel pegram (full frontal with samantha bee), mike guild (the mr. industry showcase), and drag queen ms. golden delicious. union hall (park slope), $8 adv, $10 dos. >>

5/15 8pm (monthly): the ditmas lit reading series returns with readings by poets peter bd (milk and henny), caroline hagood (lunatic speaks), and edgar kunz (tap out), plus novelist evan james (cheer up, mr. widdicombe). hosted by rachel lyon and christopher hermelin. hinterlands bar (kensington/flatbush), free. >>

5/15 8pm (weekly): who knows where their sets will go at the let’s see, what else? comedy show? this week’s show features dulce sloan (the daily show), kyle ayers (mtv), danny palmer (laughs), and abby feldman (netflix). hosted by courtney maginnis and tom delgado. poco restaurant and bar (alphabet city), free. >>

5/15 8pm (weekly): the side ponytail comedy show features stand up from devon walker (comedy central), wes hazard (jeopardy!), melissa stokoski (bravo), jc coccoli (key and peele), and thiago macklin (roastmasters). hosted by carolyn busa. friends and lovers (crown heights), free ($5 suggested donation). >>

5/15 8pm doors, 8:30pm show (weekly): $3 beer, $15 buckets and free drink giveaways are a good sign that you don’t gotta drink with your pinky out to fit in at the fancy show stand-up comedy show. tonight’s show features marie faustin (viceland), carmen lagala (colbert), kevin mccaffrey (letterman), joe rumrill (the chris gethard show), nataly aukar, and jeff steinbrunner (comedians you should know). hosted by lane pieschel. the douglass (park slope/gowanus), free. >>

5/15 8:30pm doors, 9pm show (weekly): stay in the loop with the comedians you should know show. tonight: shane torres (conan), jeffrey joseph (netflix), jc coccoli (key and peele), kendall farrell (sirius xm), saurin choksi (brown privilege comedy), and julia johns (someecards). hosted by david drake. gutter bar (williamsburg), $5. >>

5/15 8:30pm doors, 8:45pm show (monthly): the weird but nice stand-up comedy show features hari kondabolu (the problem with apu), gus constantellis (nickelodeon), harris alterman (collegehumor), laura merli (reductress), michael rowland (ucb), and emily walsh. hosted by wendy steiner. halyards (gowanus), free. >>

5/15 9pm doors, 9:30pm show (monthly): it’s all things html-arious at the internet explorers comedy show, where comedians and actual experts step into the world of the world wide web. tonight’s ‘porn’ theme features christopher trout (‘computer love’), eitan levine (hamiltoe), lux alptraum (faking it), and gabe gonzalez (former porn editor). hosted by mark vigeant. caveat (les), $10 adv, $12 door. >>

5/15 10:30pm: winter and sound of ceres play baby’s all right (williamsburg). $12 adv, $15 dos. >>

ticket deals

register to take free dance, fitness and wellness classes at 15 studios during the annual dance week (6/13-22). >>

go on a sunset sail aboard the city’s only tall ship, clipper city, thru 10/31 for $28-30 (plus ticket fees, reg $55). >>

get tickets to the nyc vegetarian food festival at metropolitan pavilion 5/18-19 for $5-15 (plus ticket fees, reg. $30). >>

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