FRI-SUN, 2/15-17: SKINT WEEKEND

scroll all the way down to the ‘all weekend’ section to find events that occur all weekend (some start friday), including the harlem fine arts show, the greenwich village antiquarian book + ephemera fair, the thnk1994 museum retrospective, and more.

friday

fri 6pm (various dates thru june): what happens after harry and the gang have gone? the heirs of hogwarts imagines and improvises a comedic future for the famed school of witchcraft and wizardry. the pit (chelsea), $12 adv, $15 door. >>

fri 7pm (biweekly thru 5/31): the stargazing + lecture series returns to columbia university’s pupin hall with a talk by dr. john m. brewer on the search for earth-like planets, followed by q+a and stargazing with telescopes (weather permitting). free. >>

fri 7pm (monthly): the kweendom lgbtq comedy and storytelling show comes out again with performances by phillip alvin henry iii, jeena bloom, tarik daniels, kelli dunham, and sean barry parsons. hosted by bobby hankinson. pete’s candy store (williamsburg), free (donations welcome and will benefit immigration equality). >>

fri 7-10pm (monthly): there’ll be no shushing at the library after hours party. tonight’s theme revolves around the new exhibition ‘love and resistance: stonewall 50,’ and includes curator talks, drag queen story hour, trivia, dj sets, and more. food + drinks will be available for purchase. nypl stephen a. schwarzman building (midtown west), $15 adv for priority admission starting at 7pm, or pay-what-you-wish at the door starting at 8pm. >>

fri 7:30pm doors, 8pm show: animation production company titmouse (adult swim, the venture brothers) presents its annual 5-second animation night, featuring never-before-seen shorts from the studio’s animators. sva theatre (chelsea), $10 general, $5 students. >>

fri 7:30pm: the orion string quartet performs an all-schubert concert at the auditorium at the new school’s johnson/kaplan hall (union square). free. >>

fri 7:30pm (thru 4/21): lola star’s dreamland roller rink sets up shop at industry city through april. tonight’s party theme: ‘total eclipse of the heart – 80’s/90’s love songs.’ $18-20 includes skate rental. >>

fri 7:30pm + 10pm (+ 2/16): cozy up to rsvp at arlo, an intimate variety show held at the arlo hotel. hosted by mehran khaghani (last comic standing), and featuring drag, adult balloon art, sideshow, comedy, and music. the arlo hotel (nomad), $5-25 admission includes a drink >>

fri 8pm: comedian carly ann filbin, host of the let me break you up anti-dating game show, wants to hook you up at her pro-dating young, hot, sluts matchmaking show. c’mon everybody (bed-stuy), $10 adv, $13 door. >>

fri 8pm: bad pitches: comics compete to come up with the worst new tv show ideas in front of a panel of ‘network execs.’ this time, contestants will be dreaming up terrible shows about romance. crystal lake brooklyn (east williamsburg), free. >>

fri 8pm (monthly): female storytellers, stand-ups, improvisers, and character actors perform at the she makes me laugh show. tonight’s lineup: fareeha khan, kate willett, perri gross, karolena theresa, and musical comedy group heck no techno. the pit (flatiron), $11 ($1 of each ticket sold will go to the naacp legal defense fund). >>

fri 8pm (monthly): comedians and storytellers recount their most cringeworthy sexual encounters at the awkward sex…and city storytelling show, held in the basement of a sex shop. tonight’s edition features pat regan, caitlin brodnick, veronica garza, and host natalie wall. bonus: free beer + wine, plus save 15% off store purchases. the pleasure chest (ues), $12 adv with promo code ‘skint’ or $15 at the door if you mention the skint (reg. $15 adv, $20 door). >>

fri 8pm (+ 2/16): get juggy with it at the second annual mid-winter jug band rendezvous, featuring eight traditional and non-traditional bands. jalopy (carroll gardens/columbia street waterfront), $15. >>

fri 8:30pm (weekly): see what all the brew-ha-ha is all about at the bitches brew comedy show, featuring stand-up by jackie kashian (conan), dan st. germain (netflix), yedoye travis (comedy central), and more. hosted by shelby taylor. the back room at halyards (gowanus), free (a tip jar will be passed around). >>

fri 8:30pm doors, 9pm show (weekly): the live from outer space comedy show at the cobra club in bushwick features stand-up by jackie kashian (conan), rob cantrell (comedy central), mike lebovitz (last comic standing), amy shanker, and kendall farrell. hosted by erik bergstrom (colbert), myka fox (trutv), and max bruno. karaoke follows. free admission. >>

fri 9pm: dance to janet jackson and sade at the yes, honey! diamonds + velvet dance party. our wicked lady (bushwick), $5. >>

fri 10pm: nothing is off-limits at the tampons, tears, and triumphs improv storytelling show, where women performers openly engage in taboo topics. the pit (flatiron), $12 adv, $15 door. >>

fri 10pm: toss and turn and can’t sleep at night? you’ve got to get away to the tainted love 80’s dance party. the bell house (gowanus), free. >>

fri 11pm (monthly): comedians live-riff over a screening of 1987 martial arts film miami connection at tonight’s edition of the ‘movies r dumb’ series. hosted by chris gersbeck. q.e.d. (astoria), $10. >>

fri 11pm: get down to pop, rnb, party jams, and club anthems of the 80s-00s at this month’s edition of the everybody, everybody dance party at c’mon everybody (bed-stuy). $5. >>

sponsored

Comedian and author Chris Gethard (Lose Well) and mystery maven Lyndsay Faye (The Paragon Hotel) join forces to read from their latest books, followed by hilarious plot interpretations from comedians Leah Bonnema (Wake Up and Yell at Me) and Nik Dodani (Murphy Brown). It’s the literature-comedy mashup sure to bring the laughs. Hosted by Rakesh Satyal.

Skint readers enjoy $10 tickets using code: SKINT

BUY TICKETS

saturday

sat 3:30pm doors, 4pm show: face your recurring high school nightmares head-on by tackling real standardized test questions at the sloshed sats trivia/drinking game/comedy show. hosted by michael wolf. caveat (les), $8 adv, $10 door. >>

sat 5-7pm (on view thru 3/2): 22 artists explore the scientific and cultural evolution of food as sustenance, a waste product, and creative medium at ‘the future of food,’ a new exhibition at usagi ny gallery (dumbo). opening reception tonight with a live performance by sergey jivetin, who’ll be hand-engraving motifs on heirloom seeds. free. >>

sat 7pm doors, 7:30pm show (quarterly): the bitchcraft variety show returns with a sequin-filled, glitter-tastic evening of music, comedy, storytelling, and leotards. hosted by selena coppock (red oaks) and lauren maul (brooklyn magazine‘s ’50 funniest people in brooklyn’). sid gold’s request room (chelsea), $5. >>

sat 7pm doors, 7:30pm show: that sh*t ray, a comedy show that celebrates the art of hustle through sketch comedy, characters, standup, and more, celebrates its two-year anniversary at union hall with dwayne kennedy (totally biased w. kamau bell), karen chee (seth meyers), sydnee washington (the unofficial expert), fareeha khan (decoded), shalewa sharpe (stay eating cookies), and sam taggart (comedy central). hosted by rachel pegram and rachel joravsky. union hall (park slope), $8 adv, $10 dos. >>

sat 7:30pm (monthly): musicians, comedians, comedy musicians and musical comedians take the stage at the odd rock comedy hour, a funny fusion hosted by rob paravonian. tonight’s show features adam blotner, ben pernick, and country music comedy duo reformed whores. q.e.d. (astoria), $7 adv with promo code ‘orchvip’ (reg. $10). >>

sat 7:30pm: astoria music collective presents a galentine’s day celebration with local artists, comedians, musicians, poets, fortune tellers, and raffles with proceeds benefiting planned parenthood. the local (astoria), free admission. >>

sat 7:30pm (thru 4/21): lola star’s dreamland roller rink sets up shop at industry city through april. tonight’s party theme: ’80’s hip-hop.’ $18-20 includes skate rental. >>

sat 8pm: mom and dad find the funny at the parental approval comedy show, where comedians will perform sets aimed to please host sachi ezura’s parents, who’ll be judging the fun. tonight: fumi abe, guy montgomery, dewey lovett, and more. friends and lovers (crown heights), free. >>

sat 8pm doors, 8:30pm show (monthly): the tinder live! with lane moore comedy show takes swipes at the hook-up app with real-time profile scoping, liking, matching, and hilarious chatting. tonight’s valentine special features guests jo firestone, jean grae, and sam grittner. hosted by lane moore (brooklyn magazine‘s funniest people in brooklyn). littlefield (gowanus), $15. >>

sat 8pm doors, 9pm show (monthly): mix and mingle with the local artist community at an arts on site performance party. byob or partake of the donation bar. 12 st. marks place (east village), $10 suggested donation. >>

sat 9pm doors, 10pm show: party throwers and event space gemini + scorpio throw their annual birthday celebration, meet me in paris: a clandestine cabaret, a retro party filled with live 1940s-style jazz, burlesque, magic, love + compatibility tarot readings, and more. gemini + scorpio loft (gowanus). themed attire required. $20 until 1am, $10 after. >>

sat 9:30pm doors, 10pm show: everyone’s a pop star at ziwe fumudoh’s pop show, where comedians will perform original pop songs and make pop presentations. union hall (park slope), $8 adv, $10 dos. >>

sat 11pm: more life: drake night: dance to all things drake with dj sets by quiana parks, odalys, and yamez. baby’s all right (williamsburg), $10 adv, $15 dos. >>

sunday

sun 11am, 1pm, 2pm: celebrate the year of the pig at the annual chinese new year temple bazaar at flushing town hall (11am + 2pm, $5) and the chinatown lunar new year parade + festival in manhattan (1pm).

sun 1pm + 5pm (+ 2/20 3pm + 7pm): tcm big screen classics presents a restored edition of my fair lady (1964) at select theaters for two days. various prices. >>

sun 1:30-4:30pm: goth swap: calling all goths…or just new yorkers. bring your old black clothes to swap for new-to-you black clothes at saint vitus (greenpoint). free admission. >>

sun 2pm: the week of darwin day, author and stony brook university philosophy chair robert p. crease discusses his book the workshop and the world: what ten thinkers can teach us about science and authority, and how to combat science denial. the brooklyn commons cafe (boerum hill), free. >>

sun 2pm (thru 5/11): calidore string quartet performs haydn, lash, shaw, and beethoven at tonight’s installment of the peoples’ symphony concerts classical music series. washington irving auditorium (gramercy), $17. >>

sun 2pm + 7pm: contemporary musicians and media artists located in new york, chicago, toronto, london, and zurich perform together live via the internet for the nownet arts festival. the dimenna center for classical music (midtown west), $15 adv for skint readers or if you mention the skint at the door (reg. $20 general, $15 students/seniors). >>

sun 2-4pm: it’s easy to be cheesy at the annual mac and cheez takedown, where competitive chefs have used their noodles to create their best recipes for you to taste and judge. lot 45 (bushwick), $25. >>

sun 4:20pm doors (sundays thru 3/3): bbq films’ green screen, a series for high-minded cinema fans, pairs movies and shows with live comedy, trivia, video games, munchies, and more. tonight: friday (1995), hosted by comedians chanel ali and jim search. chelsea music hall, $20+. >>

sun 6pm (first and third sundays thru 5/19): end your weekend with dancing at swing sundays, a recurring series of beginner dance lessons (swing, lindy hop, and charleston) followed by practicing your new skills to the sounds of a live band. starr bar (bushwick), $15. >>

sun 7pm doors, 7:30pm show: (weekly): this just in: news-themed alternative comedy show bad news returns with jo firestone (comedy central), anthony devito (colbert), jordan temple (conan), and benjy himmelfarb (the washington post). hosted by alex ptak, kevin froleiks, and carmen lagala. cherry tree (gowanus), $5. >>

sun 8pm (monthly): we may be on the brink of an apocalypse, but the not dead yet variety show wants to remind you that we’re still alive with a night of comedy by francesa d’uva, james sprang, peter bd, and more. hosted by lorelei ramirez (adult swim), amy zimmer (mcsweeney’s), and ana fabrega (hbo). c’mon everybody (bed-stuy), $5 adv, $7 door. >>

sun 9pm: just in time for awards season, more than a dozen comedians will perform their own version of the academy awards opening monologue at the pit (flatiron). hosted by chandler dean (mcsweeney’s). $8. >>

all weekend

fri thru sun: the annual harlem fine arts show, the largest traveling african diasporic art show in the us, returns to nyc. riverside church (morningside heights), $25 general, $20 seniors/students. >>

fri thru 2/23: the winter film awards international film festival, now in its eighth year, features 89 films from 32 countries (50% created by women, and 54% by or about people of color), plus free discussion panels and parties. cinema village (east village), $5-12.50 adv, $16.50 door. >>

fri thru 2/24: get caught up on the best picture nominees at regal cinemas and amc theatres. various prices.

fri thru 7/14: love + resistance: stonewall 50: the new york public library commemorates the 50th anniversary of the stonewall riots with a series of programs, book recommendations, and an exhibition. nypl stephen a. schwarzman building (midtown west), free. >>

sat 11am-6pm, sun 11am-5pm: browse and shop rare and vintage books, prints, posters, photos, and more from 40+ dealers at the 40th annual greenwich village antiquarian book + ephemera fair. ps3 charrette school (greenwich village), $5-10. >>

sat + sun 11am-7pm: get sucked into nineties culture at the thnk1994 museum retrospective, an exhibition highlighting 10 of the campy nostalgia art space’s greatest hits including celebrities smoking in the bathroom at the met ball, the olsen twins hiding from the paparazzi, and of course, tonya harding and nancy kerrigan. the blue building (midtown east), free. >>

sat + sun various times: the 34th annual new york sword dance festival brings free performances by 10 traditional english-style sword dancing troupes to spaces across manhattan and brooklyn. >>

sat thru mon: historic fraunces tavern museum (fidi) offers $1 admission during presidents’ day weekend (reg. $7 general, $4 students/seniors). >>

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THURS, 2/14: FREE HALO TOP ICE CREAM, V-DAY EVENTS, DOG ART SHOW, + 22 FRI EVENTS

around town today

thru 7/14: love + resistance: stonewall 50: the new york public library commemorates the 50th anniversary of the stonewall riots with a series of programs, book recommendations, and an exhibition. nypl stephen a. schwarzman building (midtown west), free. >>

thru 2/23: the winter film awards international film festival, now in its eighth year, features 89 films from 32 countries (50% created by women, and 54% by or about people of color), plus free discussion panels and parties. cinema village (east village), $5-12.50 adv, $16.50 door. >>

various times: have a cinematic valentine’s day with these movie screenings:
casablanca at village east cinema. $15. >>
casablanca, moonlight, crash, and more at the metrograph (les). $15. >>
harold and maude and where’s poppa? (double feature) at film forum (south village), $15. >>
love + basketball at bam (fort greene). $15. >>
wild at heart and true romance at the roxy cinema (tribeca). $12. >>
200 cigarettes and other rom-coms at the footlight (ridgewood). free. >>

just added: 12-7pm: score a free halo top pop mini ice-cream bar at grand central terminal’s vanderbilt hall. while supplies last. >>

5-8pm: find fetching artworks at mascot studio’s 20th annual dog show, a group exhibition dedicated to our furry friends. opening reception tonight. mascot studio (chelsea), free admission. >>

5pm-8pm: jcat and pleiades gallery showcase artworks by 80 japanese artists for the ‘sm;)ey’ group exhibition. free sake tastings at tonight’s opening party. pleiades gallery (chelsea), free (rsvp). >>

6pm: married folks do it (renew their vows, that is) on the red steps in times square at the annual vow renewal ceremony, which this year includes a performance from pretty woman: the musical. free. >>

6-9:30pm: salsa party in a museum: balmir latin dance studio hosts an evening of salsa, beginning with a class led by professional dancers and followed by live music, social dancing, and performances. brooklyn museum’s rubin pavilion (prospect heights), free. >>

6-12pm: queens brewery has a v-day night of games, music, a mini market and, of course, beer planned. queens brewery (ridgewood), free admission. >>

6:30pm: commiserate at heartbreak hotel, a night of readings by authors who hate valentine’s day including jessica ciencin henriquez, brooke williams, emily rapp black, rachel fleit, and molly rosen guy. bonus: free on-site ear piercing and wine. books are magic (cobble hill), $10 suggested donation benefits planned parenthood. >>

7pm: you can’t run away from v-day, but you can try at the fifth annual boycott valentine’s day pub run, a three-mile fun run with stops at two bars along the way. meet at brooklyn running company (williamsburg), $25 admission includes two drinks. >>

7pm: why women have better sex under socialism: and other arguments for economic independence: kristen r. ghodsee discusses her book based on her viral 2017 new york times op-ed piece. sarah jaffe, author of necessary trouble: americans in revolt, joins. housing works bookstore cafe (soho). free. >>

7pm: show everyone you’re game to play at stand bookstore’s valentine’s day game night. board games provided, or byo handheld to share. strand bookstore’s rare book room (union square), $10 admission includes a $5 gift card. >>

7pm: find a new friend, lover, or instagram account to follow at are you that somebody?, a night of interactive games with prizes hosted by comedian carly ann filbin. singles and couples welcome. parklife (gowanus), free admission (food and drink packages available). >>

7pm: you always start off with a blanche card at golden girls bingo, featuring screenings of three episodes of the show. costumes welcome. q.e.d. (astoria), $10. >>

7-10pm: the beats are fast, so hopefully the connections are too at kiss + tell’s techno speed dating. a dance party follows. bossa nova civic club (bushwick), $10. >>

7pm doors, 7:30pm show: four single, queer comedians try to find love (or at least someone to pick up the dinner bill) at the backfatlor, backfat variety show’s annual comedy dating show where last comic standing meets the bachelor. hosted by emily winter and larry mancini. union hall (park slope), a limited # of tickets are available in advance for $6 with promo code ‘idktonight’ (reg. $8 adv, $10 door). >>

7pm doors, 7:30pm show (monthly): your wallet doesn’t need to be full for the runnin’ on empty stand-up comedy show, which features a mix of pros and up-and-comers. performers at tonight’s show include aparna nancherla (corporate), marie faustin (mtv), jordan temple (conan), rebecca o’neal (netflix), hallie haas (search party), walter kelly, and chase montavon. hosted by yotam tubul and lisa franklin. the gallery bar at le poisson rouge (greenwich village), $3. >>

7pm doors, 7:30pm show: lovers and haters of love unite for til death do us, a valentine’s burlesque show hosted by regal mortis and sincerely yours. eris evolution (williamsburg), $15. >>

7pm doors, 8pm show: performers strip into a whole new world at hotsy totsy’s burlesque tribute to the ladies of disney. the slipper room (les), $15. >>

7pm doors, 8pm show: the smiths/morrissey tribute band the sons + heirs play their eighth annual valentine’s day concert, hosted by rolling stone columnist and author rob sheffield (love is a mix tape, talking to girls about duran duran). the bell house (gowanus), $20 adv, $25 dos. >>

7:30pm (monthly): according to comedians claire burns and jessie jolles, there’s no such thing as love, but there could be for you: as part of tonight’s dating-themed comedy show, there’ll be a bachelor auction with proceeds benefiting planned parenthood. the pit (flatiron), $8. >>

7:30pm: thirsty girl productions presents a filthy gorgeous burlesque valentine’s spectacular at brooklyn bowl (williamsburg). free-$11 here (plus ticket fees. reg. $22 adv, $25 dos). >>

7:30pm: if strings make you steamy, the unsrc symphony orchestra’s beethoven is for lovers concert will have you beelovin’. merkin hall (lincoln center), $16-22 with promo code ‘un4off’ (reg. $20-$26). >>

7:30pm: go back to the days of shoulder pads with an 80’s prom themed live band karaoke party, a fundraiser for letter of marque theater company. gemini and scorpio loft (gowanus), $10 adv, $15-20 door. >>

7:30pm + 9:30pm (monthly): get your dose of schadenfreude at mortified, a tribute to teen angst artifacts (journals, letters, poems, lyrics, home movies, stories and more) shared by their original authors. tonight’s v-day theme is ‘doomed love.’ littlefield (gowanus), $12. >>

7:30pm doors, 8pm show (monthly): fill your belly with food and laughs at the it’s all happening! stand-up comedy show, serving up homemade pasta and stand up by kat radley (the daily show), petey deabreu (comedy central), julia shiplett (crashing), saurin choksi (comedians you should know show), and sam evans. hosted by brian parise and kenice mobley. frank’s lounge (fort greene), $7 adv, $10 door. >>

8pm (weekly): unplug at the airplane mode comedy show, featuring sets by ismael loutfi (kimmel), nick chambers (netflix), jennie sutton (trutv), hannah boone, and mike szar. hosted by geoffrey asmus, rohan padhye, and raghav mehta. cherry tree (park slope/gowanus), free. >>

8pm: dance to lovesongs and lullabies at an all-ages valentine’s tribute to the cure party. knitting factory (williamsburg), free. >>

9pm: soldiers of love can make their way to the smooth operator sade party, spun by dj manchildblack. c’mon everybody (bed-stuy), $5 adv, $8 door. >>

9:30pm: improvisers + their non-comedian valentines perform improvised scenes together at ucb hell’s kitchen. $9. >>

10pm: jd samson’s queer-friendly pat arty throws a special valentine’s edition at union pool (williamsburg). free. >>

our next event!

On International Women’s Day, come dance it out to the women: The truth tellers, rhythm makers, groundbreakers, ass shakers. Mic-dropping mothers superior of all things loud, proud, fierce and funky. We need them now more than ever.

ADELE, ALICIA KEYS, AMY WINEHOUSE, BEYONCÉ, BRANDI CARLILE, CHER, DOLLY PARTON, EMILY KING, FLORENCE WELCH, GRIMES, HEART, JANELLE MONÁE, JESSIE J, JOAN JETT, KAREN O, KATHLEEN HANNA, LADY GAGA, LIZZO, LORDE, MADONNA, MAREN MORRIS, M.I.A., MISSY ELLIOTT, PATTI SMITH, PEACHES, PINK, QUEEN LATIFAH, ROBYN, SALT-N-PEPA, SHARON JONES, SIA, SPICE GIRLS, STEVIE NICKS, TAYLOR SWIFT, TINA TURNER, YEBBA SMITH, AND MANY MORE

DJ Bianca will be playing hits from the most incredible, indelible female performers to shape music.

Also: drink specials, a photo booth, Letters to Your Teenage Self, watercolor portraits by Jane Beaird of Quiet Creature ($10), and other goodies we haven’t even dreamed up yet — but it’s going to be good.

Tickets are just $10, and 100% of the profits go to Planned Parenthood. Dance dance revolution! Get your tickets now!

Miz Elizabeth (The Hot Sardines) and the skint present:
Ladies First: A Dance Party to Celebrate the Badass Women of Music and Benefit Planned Parenthood

Friday, March 8 at 10:30pm
Littlefield
635 Sackett Street, Brooklyn
Tickets: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/ladies-first-a-dance-party-celebrating-badass-women-of-music-tickets-56532396921
Facebook event page: https://www.facebook.com/events/2118605341566680/

coming up

2/15-24: get caught up on the best picture nominees at regal cinemas and amc theatres. various prices.

2/15-17: the annual harlem fine arts show, the largest traveling african diasporic art show in the us, returns to nyc. riverside church (morningside heights), $25 general, $20 seniors/students. >>

2/15 6pm (various dates thru june): what happens after harry and the gang have gone? the heirs of hogwarts imagines and improvises a comedic future for the famed school of witchcraft and wizardry. the pit (chelsea), $12 adv, $15 door. >>

2/15 7pm (biweekly thru 5/31): the stargazing + lecture series returns to columbia university’s pupin hall with a talk by dr. john m. brewer on the search for earth-like planets, followed by q+a and stargazing with telescopes (weather permitting). free. >>

2/15 7pm (monthly): the kweendom lgbtq comedy and storytelling show comes out again with performances by phillip alvin henry iii, jeena bloom, tarik daniels, kelli dunham, and sean barry parsons. hosted by bobby hankinson. pete’s candy store (williamsburg), free (donations welcome and will benefit immigration equality). >>

2/15 7-10pm (monthly): there’ll be no shushing at the library after hours party. tonight’s theme revolves around the new exhibition ‘love and resistance: stonewall 50,’ and includes curator talks, drag queen story hour, trivia, dj sets, and more. food + drinks will be available for purchase. nypl stephen a. schwarzman building (midtown west), $15 adv for priority admission starting at 7pm, or pay-what-you-wish at the door starting at 8pm. >>

2/15 7:30pm doors, 8pm show: animation production company titmouse (adult swim, the venture brothers) presents its annual 5-second animation night, featuring never-before-seen shorts from the studio’s animators. sva theatre (chelsea), $10 general, $5 students. >>

2/15 7:30pm: the orion string quartet performs an all-schubert concert at the auditorium at the new school’s johnson/kaplan hall (union square). free. >>

2/15 7:30pm (thru 4/21): lola star’s dreamland roller rink sets up shop at industry city through april. tonight’s party theme: ‘total eclipse of the heart – 80’s/90’s love songs.’ $18-20 includes skate rental. >>

2/15 7:30pm + 10pm (+ 2/16): cozy up to rsvp at arlo, an intimate variety show held at the arlo hotel. hosted by mehran khaghani (last comic standing), and featuring drag, adult balloon art, sideshow, comedy, and music. the arlo hotel (nomad), $5-25 admission includes a drink >>

2/15 8pm: comedian carly ann filbin, host of the let me break you up anti-dating game show, wants to hook you up at her pro-dating young, hot, sluts matchmaking show. c’mon everybody (bed-stuy), $10 adv, $13 door. >>

2/15 8pm: bad pitches: comics compete to come up with the worst new tv show ideas in front of a panel of ‘network execs.’ this time, contestants will be dreaming up terrible shows about romance. crystal lake brooklyn (east williamsburg), free. >>

2/15 8pm (monthly): female storytellers, stand-ups, improvisers, and character actors perform at the she makes me laugh show. tonight’s lineup: fareeha khan, kate willett, perri gross, karolena theresa, and musical comedy group heck no techno. the pit (flatiron), $11 ($1 of each ticket sold will go to the naacp legal defense fund). >>

2/15 8pm (monthly): comedians and storytellers recount their most cringeworthy sexual encounters at the awkward sex…and city storytelling show, held in the basement of a sex shop. tonight’s edition features pat regan, caitlin brodnick, veronica garza, and host natalie wall. bonus: free beer + wine, plus save 15% off store purchases. the pleasure chest (ues), $12 adv with promo code ‘skint’ or $15 at the door if you mention the skint (reg. $15 adv, $20 door). >>

2/15 8pm (+ 2/16): get juggy with it at the second annual mid-winter jug band rendezvous, featuring eight traditional and non-traditional bands. jalopy (carroll gardens/columbia street waterfront), $15. >>

2/15 8:30pm (weekly): see what all the brew-ha-ha is all about at the bitches brew comedy show, featuring stand-up by jackie kashian (conan), dan st. germain (netflix), yedoye travis (comedy central), and more. hosted by shelby taylor. the back room at halyards (gowanus), free (a tip jar will be passed around). >>

2/15 8:30pm doors, 9pm show (weekly): the live from outer space comedy show at the cobra club in bushwick features stand-up by jackie kashian (conan), rob cantrell (comedy central), mike lebovitz (last comic standing), amy shanker, and kendall farrell. hosted by erik bergstrom (colbert), myka fox (trutv), and max bruno. karaoke follows. free admission. >>

2/15 9pm: dance to janet jackson and sade at the yes, honey! diamonds + velvet dance party. our wicked lady (bushwick), $5. >>

2/15 10pm: nothing is off-limits at the tampons, tears, and triumphs improv storytelling show, where women performers openly engage in taboo topics. the pit (flatiron), $12 adv, $15 door. >>

2/15 10pm: toss and turn and can’t sleep at night? you’ve got to get away to the tainted love 80’s dance party. the bell house (gowanus), free. >>

2/15 11pm (monthly): comedians live-riff over a screening of 1987 martial arts film miami connection at tonight’s edition of the ‘movies r dumb’ series. hosted by chris gersbeck. q.e.d. (astoria), $10. >>

2/15 11pm: get down to pop, rnb, party jams, and club anthems of the 80s-00s at this month’s edition of the everybody, everybody dance party at c’mon everybody (bed-stuy). $5. >>

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WEDS, 2/13: GALENTINE’S EVENTS, SCIENCE-Y TALKS, ULTIMATE NYC TRIVIA, + 32 THURS EVENTS

around town today

thru 5/26: the new museum presents the first museum survey in new york of the work of nari ward. nari ward: we the people will feature 30 sculptures, paintings, videos, and large-scale installations from throughout ward’s 25-year career. new museum (les), $18 general, $15 seniors, $12 students, pay-what-you-wish thursdays 7-9pm. >>

4pm + 7pm (ends today): have the time of your life at a screening of dirty dancing, returning to select theaters for two days. various prices. >>

5-10pm: drunk dial congress: galentine’s edition: gather your local girl gang and make valentines to send to the new representatives in congress at crown heights cocktail + dessert bar butter + scotch). supplies provided, and participants will get a free shot (one per customer). >>

6pm: tech ethicist david ryan polgar and comedian joe leonardo examine sexism in the tech world at a live taping of the funny as tech podcast, featuring guests amanda henning (mashable), jumana abu-ghazaleh (betwixt.us), and kimberly gray (uvii). the pit (flatiron), $8. >>

6pm doors, 6:30pm show: cardiologist and author sandeep jauhar discusses the evolution of our understanding of the human heart explored in his latest book, heart: a history. in conversation with physician and author danielle ofri (what patients say, what doctors hear). nypl mid manhattan library, free. >>

6:30pm: put your knowledge of the city to the test at the museum of the city of new york’s ultimate nyc trivia night. $15 includes a drink and same-day museum admission (galleries close at 6pm). >>

7pm: make bookmarks, cards, and more while drinking wine and eating treats from wafels and dinges at drink and draw like a lady’s galentine’s day party at strand bookstore’s rare book room (union square). $10 admission includes a $5 gift card. >>

7-10pm: the women’s prison association, which works with women at all stages of criminal justice involvement, celebrates galentine’s day with an event collecting new female-centric donations and raffling off prizes including tickets to sleep no more, restaurant gift certificates, and more ($10 for a spin of the wheel). donation includes an open bar 7-8pm, snacks, and happy hour prices 8-10pm. taproom no. 307 (kips bay). >>

7:30pm: feed your hunger for knowledge at taste of science‘s presentation on how communication evolves between baby birds and their parents, plus how parasitic wasps take over their hosts’ bodies. ryan’s daughter (ues), free. >>

7:30pm doors, 8pm show (monthly): the biology on tap series brings short science talks to a bar each month. tonight: romance and reproduction in the animal kingdom at the way station (prospect heights). free. >>

8pm (weekly): the let’s see, what else? comedy show features ronny chieng (the daily show), aparna nancherla (corporate), ben kronberg (comedy central), eagle witt, and jeffrey emerson. hosted by courtney maginnis and tom delgado. poco restaurant and bar (alphabet city), free. >>

8pm (weekly): the side ponytail comedy show features stand up from stephen rogers (colbert), erica spera (tbs comic to watch), anders lee, srilatha rajamani, and andres govea. hosted by julia shiplett. friends and lovers (crown heights), free ($5 suggested donation). >>

8pm: anemone, champagne superchillin’, and hypoluxo play baby’s all right (williamsburg). $12. >>

8pm doors, 8:30pm show (weekly): $3 beer, $15 buckets and free drink giveaways are a good sign that you don’t gotta drink with your pinky out to fit in at the fancy show stand-up comedy show. tonight’s show features mike abrusci (comedy crib, jason burke (comedy central), dina hashem (conan), mara marek (happy never after), matt stofsky (college humor), kofi thomas, and terence hartnett. hosted by jeff scheen. the douglass (park slope/gowanus), free. >>

8:30pm (monthly): defne gencler and blair dawson host the u up? comedy show, featuring stand up and a half-time storytelling portion where audience members can share an anecdote to compete for a prize from babeland. tonight’s show includes larry owens (trutv), lizzie martinez (funny or die), mark benjamin (the new york times), karen chee (vulture), and nataly aukar. the corners (bed-stuy), free. >>

8:30pm doors, 9pm show (weekly): stay in the loop with the comedians you should know show. tonight: stavros halkias (adult swim), liza treyger (comedy central), brendan eyre (seth meyers), saurin choksi (brown privilege), and nonye brown-west. hosted by jeff steinbrunner. gutter bar (williamsburg), $5. >>

9pm (weekly): comedy is served at the too many cooks comedy show, with some help from jena friedman (the daily show), alingon mitra (conan), joe zimmerman (fallon), marie faustin (the unofficial expert), doug smith (comedy central), julia claire (the new york times), luke touma (siriusxm), and samantha ruddy (colbert). lucky jack’s (les), free. >>

9:30pm: comedian and host becca beberaggi examines the life lessons learned from romantic movies while performing readings of famous scenes with other comedians at say you love me!: a romantic comedy show. audience participation encouraged. pit loft (flatiron), $8. >>

coming up

2/14-7/14: love + resistance: stonewall 50: the new york public library commemorates the 50th anniversary of the stonewall riots with a series of programs, book recommendations, and an exhibition. nypl stephen a. schwarzman building (midtown west), free. >>

2/14-23: the winter film awards international film festival, now in its eighth year, features 89 films from 32 countries (50% created by women, and 54% by or about people of color), plus free discussion panels and parties. cinema village (east village), $$5-12.50 adv, $16.50 door. >>

2/14 various times: have a cinematic valentine’s day with these movie screenings:
casablanca at village east cinema. $15. >>
casablanca, moonlight, crash, and more at the metrograph (les). $15. >>
harold and maude and where’s poppa? (double feature) at film forum (south village), $15. >>
love + basketball at bam (fort greene).  $15. >>
wild at heart and true romance at the roxy cinema (tribeca). $12. >>
200 cigarettes and other rom-coms at the footlight (ridgewood). free. >>

2/14 2pm: explore love in the time of revolution, a romance-inspired guided tour of fraunces tavern museum delving into 18th century courting and love stories of the founding fathers. fraunces tavern museum (fidi), free with regular admission ($7 general, $4 students/seniors). >>

2/14 5-8pm: find fetching artworks at mascot studio’s 20th annual dog show, a group exhibition dedicated to our furry friends. opening reception tonight. mascot studio (chelsea), free admission. >>

2/14 5pm-8pm: jcat and pleiades gallery showcase artworks by 80 japanese artists for the ‘sm;)ey’ group exhibition. free sake tastings at tonight’s opening party. pleiades gallery (chelsea), free (rsvp). >>

2/14 6pm: married folks do it (renew their vows, that is) on the red steps in times square at the annual vow renewal ceremony, which this year includes a performance from pretty woman: the musical. free. >>

2/14 6-9:30pm: salsa party in a museum: balmir latin dance studio hosts an evening of salsa, beginning with a class led by professional dancers and followed by live music, social dancing, and performances. brooklyn museum’s rubin pavilion (prospect heights), free. >>

2/14 6-12pm: queens brewery has a v-day night of games, music, a mini market and, of course, beer planned. queens brewery (ridgewood), free admission. >>

2/14 6:30pm: commiserate at heartbreak hotel, a night of readings by authors who hate valentine’s day including jessica ciencin henriquez, brooke williams, emily rapp black, rachel fleit, and molly rosen guy. bonus: free on-site ear piercing and wine. books are magic (cobble hill), $10 suggested donation benefits planned parenthood. >>

2/14 7pm: you can’t run away from v-day, but you can try at the fifth annual boycott valentine’s day pub run, a three-mile fun run with stops at two bars along the way. meet at brooklyn running company (williamsburg), $25 admission includes two drinks. >>

2/14 7pm: why women have better sex under socialism: and other arguments for economic independence: kristen r. ghodsee discusses her book based on her viral 2017 new york times op-ed piece. sarah jaffe, author of necessary trouble: americans in revolt, joins. housing works bookstore cafe (soho). free. >>

2/14 7pm: show everyone you’re game to play at stand bookstore’s valentine’s day game night. board games provided, or byo handheld to share. strand bookstore’s rare book room (union square), $10 admission includes a $5 gift card. >>

2/14 7pm: find a new friend, lover, or instagram account to follow at are you that somebody?, a night of interactive games with prizes hosted by comedian carly ann filbin. singles and couples welcome. parklife (gowanus), free admission (food and drink packages available). >>

2/14 7pm: you always start off with a blanche card at golden girls bingo, featuring screenings of three episodes of the show. costumes welcome. q.e.d. (astoria), $10. >>

2/14 7-10pm: the beats are fast, so hopefully the connections are too at kiss + tell’s techno speed dating. a dance party follows. bossa nova civic club (bushwick), $10. >>

2/14 7pm doors, 7:30pm show: four single, queer comedians try to find love (or at least someone to pick up the dinner bill) at the backfatlor, backfat variety show’s annual comedy dating show where last comic standing meets the bachelor. hosted by emily winter and larry mancini. union hall (park slope), a limited # of tickets are available in advance for $6 with promo code ‘idktonight’ (reg. $8 adv, $10 door). >>

2/14 7pm doors, 7:30pm show (monthly): your wallet doesn’t need to be full for the runnin’ on empty stand-up comedy show, which features a mix of pros and up-and-comers. performers at tonight’s show include aparna nancherla (corporate), marie faustin (mtv), jordan temple (conan), rebecca o’neal (netflix), hallie haas (search party), walter kelly, and chase montavon. hosted by yotam tubul and lisa franklin. the gallery bar at le poisson rouge (greenwich village), $3. >>

2/14 7pm doors, 7:30pm show: lovers and haters of love unite for til death do us, a valentine’s burlesque show hosted by regal mortis and sincerely yours. eris evolution (williamsburg), $15. >>

2/14 7pm doors, 8pm show: performers strip into a whole new world at hotsy totsy’s burlesque tribute to the ladies of disney. the slipper room (les), $15. >>

2/14 7pm doors, 8pm show: the smiths/morrissey tribute band the sons + heirs play their eighth annual valentine’s day concert, hosted by rolling stone columnist and author rob sheffield (love is a mix tape, talking to girls about duran duran). the bell house (gowanus), $20 adv, $25 dos. >>

2/14 7:30pm (monthly): according to comedians claire burns and jessie jolles, there’s no such thing as love, but there could be for you: as part of tonight’s dating-themed comedy show, there’ll be a bachelor auction with proceeds benefiting planned parenthood. the pit (flatiron), $8. >>

2/14 7:30pm: thirsty girl productions presents a filthy gorgeous burlesque valentine’s spectacular at brooklyn bowl (williamsburg). free-$11 here (plus ticket fees. reg. $22 adv, $25 dos). >>

2/14 7:30pm: if strings make you steamy, the unsrc symphony orchestra’s beethoven is for lovers concert will have you beelovin’. merkin hall (lincoln center), $16-22 with promo code ‘un4off’ (reg. $20-$26). >>

2/14 7:30pm: go back to the days of shoulder pads with an 80’s prom themed live band karaoke party, a fundraiser for letter of marque theater company. gemini and scorpio loft (gowanus), $10 adv, $15-20 door. >>

2/14 7:30pm + 9:30pm (monthly): get your dose of schadenfreude at mortified, a tribute to teen angst artifacts (journals, letters, poems, lyrics, home movies, stories and more) shared by their original authors. tonight’s v-day theme is ‘doomed love.’ littlefield (gowanus), $12. >>

2/14 7:30pm doors, 8pm show (monthly): fill your belly with food and laughs at the it’s all happening! stand-up comedy show, serving up homemade pasta and stand up by kat radley (the daily show), petey deabreu (comedy central), julia shiplett (crashing), saurin choksi (comedians you should know show), and sam evans. hosted by brian parise and kenice mobley. frank’s lounge (fort greene), $7 adv, $10 door. >>

2/14 8pm (weekly): unplug at the airplane mode comedy show, featuring sets by ismael loutfi (kimmel), nick chambers (netflix), jennie sutton (trutv), hannah boone, and mike szar. hosted by geoffrey asmus, rohan padhye, and raghav mehta. cherry tree (park slope/gowanus), free. >>

2/14 8pm: dance to lovesongs and lullabies at an all-ages valentine’s tribute to the cure party. knitting factory (williamsburg), free. >>

2/14 9pm: soldiers of love can make their way to the smooth operator sade party, spun by dj manchildblack. c’mon everybody (bed-stuy), $5 adv, $8 door. >>

2/14 9:30pm: improvisers + their non-comedian valentines perform improvised scenes together at ucb hell’s kitchen. $9. >>

2/14 10pm: jd samson’s queer-friendly pat arty throws a special valentine’s edition at union pool (williamsburg). free. >>

ticket deals

sponsored: $20 carnegie hall tickets: orchestra of st. luke’s performs orchestral classics by haydn, mozart and beethoven 2/28 (reg. $36-90). offer valid today only (2/13). >>

get tickets to the annual architectural digest design show at pier 94 3/22-24, plus a one-year digital magazine subscription, for free-$17.50 (plus ticket fees, reg. $34). >>

get tickets to disney’s dcapella at kings theatre 2/16 for free-$29 (plus ticket fees, reg. $50-73). >>

get tickets to golden girls live at producers’ club 2/15-4/27 for free-$55 (plus ticket fees, reg. $54-75) >>

get tickets to the imbible’s day drinking: the brunch musical (includes 3 drinks) at new world stages 2/17-5/26 for free-$45 (plus ticket fees, reg. $85). >>

get tickets to the nyc vegetarian food festival at metropolitan pavilion 5/18-19 for free-$15 (plus ticket fees, reg. $30). >>

get tickets to the annual art on paper art fair at pier 36 3/8-10 for free-$12.50 (plus ticket fees, reg. $25). >>

get tickets to artexpo new york at pier 92 4/5-7 for free-$20 (plus ticket fees, reg. $15-40). >>

get tickets to the other art fair at brooklyn expo center 5/3-5 for free-10.50 (plus ticket fees (reg. $15). >>

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